


trying to sedate my mind in its cage (and numb what i see)

by LadyPupute



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, basically the whole gang is there - Freeform, i mean it's not overly fluffy but still, i thought it was important, set after ep 5, that was said to me once, yann says something dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyPupute/pseuds/LadyPupute
Summary: All he thinks about is Eliott. Eliott and Chloé’s voice ringing in his hears. "You’re gay, Lucas". He has seen the looks already from everyone at the party. The ones who heard her. Lucas wonders if he should be mad. He was mad yesterday. He was so furious, an anger like he’s never felt before, against her and against Eliott. Eliott and his stupid face, and his stupid eyes, and his stupid smile.Fuck.He misses him.





	trying to sedate my mind in its cage (and numb what i see)

**Author's Note:**

> title from Heaven by Troye Sivan

Lucas doesn’t want to get up. He got home on Saturday morning freezing, hurt, completely numb, except from the throbbing pain in his hand. He knows he should have taken care of it right away but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. What’s the point anyway? Just one more fucked up thing in his life. His dad, his mom, Mika, the boys, his grades. Eliott. Who cares. He’s just numb.

He crashed on the couch when he got home some time during the night on Saturday morning. He thinks it must have been very late, because he saw Mika’s shoes thrown haphazardly near the door on the floor, and he’s never back before 4am when he goes out. Which means he must have spent the whole night outside sitting curled in on himself somewhere on the streets, or sometimes getting up and wandering around aimlessly. He doesn’t remember. It’s not important anyway.

His roommates slept in late and didn’t bother him. He’s pretty sure Mika is still mad at him anyway. Somewhere deep down, Lucas thinks that Mika had a point about everything he said about gay people and pride. He just had never thought about it that way before.

Manon does ask him if he’s okay as soon as she gets up, having heard about the fight the night before. Lucas nods vaguely and fakes a smile, hiding his throbbing hand in his sweater. Manon doesn’t seem convinced and looks at him with concern:

“Are you sure?”  
“I’m fine, Manon.”

She pauses before replying: “You know you can talk to me, right? I know I ask a lot of questions but… I just care about you.”

Lucas almost snorts. He can’t hear this right now. He doesn’t have it in him to believe her. He wants to be grateful, but he can’t. So he nods again and she leaves him be.

He plays on his phone and scrolls aimlessly on instagram for a while, but when he gets a headache, Lucas finally decides to move to get some water, hoping it will help relieve the tension he feels behind his eyes. He can hear voices in the kitchen and he doesn’t want to see anyone, so he picks up the empty bottle that rolled under the couch and goes to the bathroom.

Lucas catches his reflection in the mirror and stops. There’s a darkening bruise on his cheek, where Arthur slapped him. He can’t believe he got into a fight with the boys. He can’t believe they blamed him for his family’s problems. So what if he has been using his family as an excuse lately? That doesn’t change anything.

The blood on his hands has dried, and his knuckles are split. His hand is swollen, black and blue in places. It’s ugly. He runs it under cold water, watching it turn pink and down the drain it goes. He’s pretty sure he’s seen a similar scene in movies before, and the guy always winces. Lucas doesn’t. It stings, yeah. But it’s nothing compared to the hurt he feels in his entire body. He should get ice on it, but he doesn’t want to go in the kitchen and face his roomates. He should probably have done that as soons as he got home anyway.

Lucas goes back to the couch and pretends he’s napping when his roommates enter the room. He can hear them tiptoeing around him and thinks that it’s weird, especially coming from Mika, who doesn’t usually seem inclined to care about being careful around him. He vaguely hears Manon say that’s she going to meet up with the girls for the evening and then the door opens and closes behind her. The others continue to ignore him and he’s almost grateful.

All he thinks about is Eliott. Eliott and Chloé’s voice ringing in his hears. _You’re gay, Lucas_. He has seen the looks already from everyone at the party. The ones who heard her. Lucas wonders if he should be mad. He was mad yesterday. He was so furious, an anger like he’s never felt before, against her and against Eliott. Eliott and his stupid face, and his stupid eyes, and his stupid smile.

Fuck.

He misses him.

Lucas presses his fists to his eyes, trying to block out the memory behind his eyelids of golden morning light on soft sheets and breathy laughter on wet skin in the dark. He presses harder but barely registers the pain it creates in his hand. The anger has left him. Suddenly all he feels is despair. He wants to cry again. Let sobs wracked through his entire being like he did last night, before the numbness settled in. But the tears don’t come.

* * *

By the time Manon comes back from her evening with the girls, it’s very late and Lucas hasn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep. She seems agitated and calls his name in the dark: "Lucas? Lucas, are you sleeping? We need to talk. Lucas?"

Once again, he pretends to sleep. It can wait until tomorrow.

* * *

Tomorrow comes too fast.

Lucas doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he apparently did. He wakes up on Sunday morning with Manon fidgeting around him in the room. He sighs and she immediately turns to him.

"Hey”, she says hesitantly. “Slept well?"

Lucas merely shrugs. Not really.

Manon looks at him for a second, an agitated glint in her eyes, before opening her mouth: "Listen Lucas, Daphnée told me something yesterday. About you. Something she heard from someone at the party. Something Chloé said?"

Lucas feels his body seize up. He gets up suddenly and brushes past her:

"I need the bathroom."

"Lucas wait! Talk to me, come on."

She makes to grab his arm but he shrugs her off, the anger remaking an appearance.

"WHAT? _What_ is there to talk about? _Why_ do you always want to talk? Fucking leave me alone!"

She takes a step back at his outburst, face stricken. Mika choses that moment to enter the room.

"Woah, what’s with the shouting so early on a Sunday morning?"

Manon barely misses a beat, speaking up in a rush:

"Daphnée heard a rumor about Lucas that Chloé started and he won’t tell me if it’s true."

Lucas freezes in his spot before exploding, arms flying around:

 _"If it’s true_ ? Who fucking cares? Genuinely, who _fucking_ cares? You want the truth? Then yes, what Chloé said, what she _shouted_ , is true. I’m fucking gay. There you go, are you happy? I’m pretty sure the entire party heard her shout it to my face. Satisfied?"

Manon’s face falls and her eyes well up: "Lucas, I didn’t mean… Wait what happened to your hand? Daphnée said the fight wasn’t that bad and-"

Lucas shoves his legs into a pair of jean, not bothering to change the t-shirt he slept in.

"Right, Daphnée said this, Daphnée said that. And you didn’t mean to what exactly? Corner me? You’ve been pushing and pushing for weeks and I’m tired, okay? I am so fucking tired of this."

He slips into his shoes and makes for the door, Manon hot on his heels.

"Lucas, wait, please, I just want to-"

__"Leave me alone!"_ _

As soon as the words are past his lips, he regrets shouting at her. He can’t look at her face and see it crumble even more. He doesn’t want this. He grabs his coat and just before slamming the door behind him, he hears Mika’s voice:

"Let him go, darling. He needs some time alone."

Fucking right. For once, Mika and he agree.

* * *

His steps take him to La Petite Ceinture. He almost laugh at the irony of it all.

Just a week before, everything was so good. He had felt so alive, holding onto Eliott, kissing him, breathing him in, nuzzling into his neck. He walks on the muddy path, tripping a bit on some loose rocks, not really paying attention to where he puts his feet. It feels weird, being here during the day. The sun is out and shining through the trees, bathing the path in sunlight. It’s still early, and despite the sun, his breath creates puffy white tendrils when he exhales.

The sun is not the only difference. He’s alone. No boy with wild hair to tease him, kiss him, hold him. His heart squeezes in his chest. He gets to the bridge and sits on the concrete, looking at the grafiti without really seeing them. Maybe Eliott did some of them, but they don’t really look like his style. His eyes catch an inscription on the opposite wall: _Alt er love_. He briefly wonders what it means.

He sits there for a long while and doesn’t hear the footsteps until it’s too late and Eliott is standing just at the entrance, immobile in the light, the sunshine playing hide and seek in his messy hair. Lucas just stares at him, not really processing his presence. He looks tired, with bags under his eyes and pale skin. He’s fidgeting with the strap of a bag slung over his shoulder, rolling a small rock under his foot. Eliott is the first one to speak:

"Hey."

His voice is scratchy, even lighter than usual, hesitant. He looks so much younger than he really is, biting his lips and looking at him with big searching eyes. Lucas looks at him a bit more before sighing and getting up:

"I’ll leave. It’s your safe place."

Lucas makes to walk down the path, on the opposite side of where he came from, not even stopping to wonder if there’s a way to get back to civilisation in that direction.

"It’s ours."

Eliott’s timid rebuttal makes him stop dead in his tracks. Lucas doesn’t turn around when he asks:

"What?"

"I mean, we can share. If you’d like. This place, I mean. If you need it. We can share."

Lucas chuckles humorlessly and turns to face him:

"In the same way I share you with Lucille?"

The anger is starting to come back. He wants Eliott to react, he wants him to be mad too so he can confront him and maybe empty this rage bubbling up inside him. He _needs_ Eliott to react. Eliott’s eyebrow twitches.

"What?"

"Don’t fucking pretend. There’s a difference between “things going too fast” - where the hell was that coming from by the way? - and running back to your girlfriend without even telling me. So you can fuck right off with your sharing."

Eliott’s face turns to stone.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about."

Lucas wants to scream.

"Yeah that’s right, I don’t. I don’t because you won’t speak to me. You just left me without an explanation, and frankly I’m getting whiplash from you, man."

Lucas rakes his hands through his hair, trying not to tug at it in frustration. He almost misses it but Eliott’s expression turns into concern. He takes a step forward, hands reaching out toward him in an aborted movement.

"What happened to your hand? Is it from the fight? I… heard about what happened at the party."

"Don’t. Don’t pretend to care. Don’t come closer and don’t fucking touch me. But yeah, of course, you heard what happened, you were right there. Sure, a bit busy kissing Lucille but I don’t think anyone could have missed hearing what happened at that party."

"Lucas…"

"And you know what? I’m tired. I’m so so so fucking tired of being stringed along. Of not being enough. I wasn’t enough for my Dad to stay. I’m not enough for my roommate to even want me under his roof. I wasn’t enough to help my Mom. Fuck, I’m her son and I am not enough. And I sure as hell wasn’t enough for _you_."

Lucas doesn’t know what he’s saying but the words are pouring out and he can’t stop them. He thinks he might be tearing up and his brain somehow registers that he’s now pushing at Eliott’s chest but he can’t stop.

"I try, you know? I try so hard. But it’s not enough. And I thought, maybe, with you, it would be. But of course I shouldn’t have believed that. Why the fuck did you have to do this to me? As if my life isn’t already fucked enough."

Lucas feels Eliott’s hands close around his wrists. He’s so close. Lucas feels him searching his face but he can’t bring himself to look at him in the eye.

"What are you talking about?"

"I’m talking about my Dad leaving and not even being decent enough to send me money for rent! I’m talking about picking up the pieces for my Mom but not matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t enough, to the point she had to go to a clinic so professionals could take care of her instead of me! I’m talking about how she texts me every day, and every day I tell her I love her, and _it still isn’t enough_!"

Lucas might be screaming. He doesn’t know, nor care. No one is around anyway. A safe haven, Eliott called it. He doesn’t know when it happens but Eliott’s arms have wound themselves around him and are now holding him close against his chest.

"I thought you said you didn’t talk to her?"

"I lied." His words are muffled in the fabric of Eliott’s scarf. "I lied because I didn’t want to scare you off. But you left anyway."

Eliott’s arms tightened around him and Lucas hears his breath hitching. Tears are now leaving damp patches on Eliott’s scarf. He wants to tell him to let him go but he hasn’t been comforted in that way in so long that he can’t bring himself to do it, and lets himself be held. He cries, breathing in Eliott’s scent, feeling how tightly he’s holding him, one hand now moving to his hair to cradle his head against his neck. They fit so well. The anger is now gone and all Lucas feels is helplessness.

"Lucas… Lucas look at me."

Lucas doesn’t want to move from the warmth of Eliott’s neck but lets his head fall backward when he feels a light tug in his hair. The hand moves to his jaw, cradling his face.

"I’m sorry. For how I acted. There are… There are things you don’t know. I promise I’ll explain but it’s… it’s complicated."

Eliott is looking at him and his eyes are so intense that Lucas couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

"But you have to know one thing: none of all this is your fault. None of it. You are enough. Fuck, you’re more than enough. I don’t deserve you. The situation with your parents is what it is but, baby… we’re still kids. We are, and sometimes things are out of our hands. It’s unfair and terrifying but it is _not your fault_."

Lucas wants to believe him. Wants to keep basking in his warmth and cling to that pet name that seemed to have slipped out without Eliott noticing. Eliott, who’s now brushing a strand piece of hair from his face, looking at him so tenderly Lucas can barely breathe. He can’t let himself believe. Someone who doesn't care wouldn't look at him like that. Wouldn't tell him these things, but... He can’t let himself be hurt again. He should push him away.

"But… what about… I don’t… Lucille?"

The words taste like lead on his tongue but he needs to understand. The hurt and anger he felt on Friday evening when he saw them together was too real and hit him like a freight train. He can’t go through that again.

Eliott sighs, his face clouding for a moment.

"Lucille is safety. Lucille has been in my life for a long time and there are times I feel like she’s the only one who gets me. There are no surprises with her. It’s almost easy."

Lucas swallows before asking, voice trembling:

"Do you love her?"

Eliott’s eyes are burning into his.

"I’m not in love with her. Don’t think I’ve ever been, really." He waits a beat before adding, so softly Lucas almost wouldn't believe his ears if he hadn't seen Eliott's lips move. "She is not you."

Lucas exhales shakingly. He doesn’t know what to say to that. Eliott’s eyes are so fierce and captivating. Lucas feels more than he sees Eliott leaning towards him, his face closing in, until their lips brush. It’s barely a touch. Eliott moves back, juste a millimeter away, his eyes searching for confirmation. Lucas lets a tiny whimper escape his lips, closing his own eyes that are probably puffy and red from crying, before closing the distance between them. He’s going to let himself have this and hope against reason it doesn’t turn into hell again.

Lucas brings his hands to Eliott’s hair, neck, jaw, shoulders, anything he can reach, standing on his tiptoe. He wants to get closer, he wants this to never stop. Eliott squeezes him against himself just as tightly. There’s no breathy incredulous laughter this time, only deep kisses, jaw aching from the strength of it, hands clutching, closer and closer and closer, never letting go. No rain, just sunlight.

It’s when Lucas hisses at the throb in his hand from where he gripped Eliott’s back too tight that they let go of eachother, Eliott’s face once again overcome with concern.

"Fuck, your hand… We need to take care of this. How did this happen?"

Eliott cradles his hand between his palms, fingers light and barely touching the split knuckles, flying over the darkened bruised skin. He softly brings it to his lips, the kiss a mere butterfly. Lucas can’t believe he’s real.

"I was- I was upset. On Friday night. I don’t know."

"I’m sorry."

"Don’t. Not your fault."

Lucas brings the index finger of his free hand to his lips to shush him before replacing it with his own lips for a quick peck. He knows they still have a lot to talk about, but for now, this is enough. He feels like enough.

Eliott nods and puts an arm over his shoulder, bringing him close to his body. Lucas does the same around his waist. _Like puzzle pieces_ , Lucas thinks idly.

"Come, let’s get you home and take care of this."

* * *

By home, Eliott apparently meant his apartment. After taking care of his hand, wondering out loud if he should just take him to the hospital instead but ending up just applying ice and bandaging it, they just lounge around on Eliott’s bed, occasionally getting up to eat. Lucas asks for a shower, since he feels kinda gross still being in his pyjama shirt and all. Eliott lends him a hoodie way too big for him once he’s done with the shower, and Lucas would be lying if he said he didn’t love how it dwarfed him, or the look on Eliott’s face when he saw him in it.

Lucas realizes in the afternoon that he must have left his phone at home but just shrugs the thought away. He’s right where he belongs and doesn’t want any exterior distractions ruining this for him. For them. They spend hours mapping each other’s body, counting freckles, learning the taste of their skin. They lay there, heads on the same pillow, breathing the same air, not looking away from each other’s eyes. That night, they fall asleep kissing in the dark, unable to keep their eyes open despite not wanting to close them, legs tangled under the sheets and arms flung over one another.

* * *

The next morning catches up on them quickly, bringing them back to reality. School. The rumours. The fight with the boys. Shouting at Manon. Fuck. Nerves are paralyzing Lucas’s body as soon as he wakes up. What if Eliott isn't there anymore? What if he changed his mind again? He looks to the side, and this time, Eliott is still there, looking at him.

"Good morning" Eliott whispers softly, as if not wanting to disrupt their cocoon just yet.

"Hey."

"You okay? You went all tense."

Eliott brings a hand to caress the side of Lucas’s face, making him melt right into it and nuzzling his palm.

"Yeah, just. School, you know."

"We don’t have to go."

Lucas snorts.

"You know, I realized that if I didn’t go to school, who would care? My mom is not in a state to even understand, and what could my Dad do? Stop sending me money for rent? Wouldn’t change much."

Eliott is looking down at him, eyes sad. Lucas doesn’t want to see him sad. He shakes his head.

"No. We should. I mean, I should. Go to school. Can’t hide forever, can I?"

"Whatever you want, baby."

This time, Lucas wants to make note of the pet name. He quirks an eyebrow, teasing smile on his lips.

"Baby, uh? Hedgehog, baby… you gotta make up your mind."

"Oh, fuck off."

Eliott laughs and leans on him, kissing the laughter right off his mouth and replacing it with a tender smile.

"Alright, school it is then."

* * *

It’s only once they get to the corner of the street that Lucas feels the nerves come back. What does he do? What does he say? Eliott’s stops his fidgeting with a hand on his face.

"Hey, I’m gonna be right there, okay? How do you want to this? Together?"

"You- you would do that? I mean, come out? With me? Just like that?"

"I don’t mind."

Lucas can’t believe him.

"You can’t just “not mind”. This is a big deal! There’s no point for me to deny it, it’s too late now, but you. For you. This will change everything, fuck, I can’t ask you that, I just can’t-"

"Hey stop right there. Breathe. You’re not asking, I’m offering. I know what I’m getting myself into."

Lucas searches his face for a trace of doubt. He doesn’t find any.

"Okay. Let’s do this. Thanks. Just, maybe, let’s hold back the PDA just for a bit. Just, until we see how it goes?"

"Whatever you want, baby."

The fucker winks at him.

* * *

They enter the school together, going straight for the lockers. People are looking at them, at him, pointing him out. The whispers that follow them through the hallways are not really aggressive but still feel overwhelming. They have just reached Lucas’s locker when a shrilling voice rings through the corridor:

__"Where were you?"_ _

They both turn towards the voice, Lucas catching Eliott stand just a bit in front of him, as if to shield him, and come face to face with Manon, the girls in tow, Emma on her phone.

"You stormed out yesterday, never came back, and you didn’t even have your phone! I found it in the couch! We were so worried and had no way to contact you, we didn’t know where you were and-"

Lucas cuts her off: "Hey hey, I’m sorry, alright. I shouldn’t have left you hanging like that. I shouldn’t have shouted at you either. Sorry. Really. But I’m fine, see."

"What happened? Where did you go?"

"We went back to his place."

Lucas vaguely motions to Eliott, Manon seemingly noticing him for the first time.

"Okay, you lost me. I don’t get any of this. What’s going on?"

People are still looking at them, not even pretending they are not eavesdropping. Alexia choses that moment to intervene:

"Guys, maybe let’s not talk about this here. Let’s go somewhere quiet, okay? We still have 20 minutes before class."

"The foyer!" Daphnée suggests.

Eliott nods and puts a hand on Lucas’s back, stirring him in the right direction. Lucas’s back tingles at his touch, even through the layers. He’s still wearing the hoodie Eliott gave him the day before. It feels comforting right now.

They all make their way inside, Imane closing the door behind them. Emma stops her: "Wait, the boys are coming, I texted Yann."

Fuck, Lucas is not ready to see them. He feels anxiety bubble up in his throat and unconsciously reaches out to Eliott who’s standing next to him. He takes a step closer, his presence calming.

The guys must have been just behind them because Lucas barely has the time to breathe in the smell of his hoodie that they are in the room. For a second, everyone looks at one another, Yann’s eyes alternating between Lucas’s bruised hand and the one holding onto Eliott’s jacket. Lucas can’t take it. He blurts out: "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For everything I said and how I’ve been lately and fuck, I can’t believe we actually got into a fight, guys, truly, I was just so hurt and confused I didn’t know what to do. Between Chloé and- and everything, I was barely hanging in there, I lost it, it was all just too much. I’m sorry."

Everyone is looking at him. Why aren’t they saying anything?

Alexia is the first one to speak: "You shouldn’t apologize for how you’re feeling. What Chloé did, even if she was hurt, is inexcusable. Outing people like she did is disgusting. Coming out is a deeply personal choice, a right, that should never be taken away. It should be done when you feel ready and comfortable and with people you trust. Don’t apologize for being hurt about that. I mean. That is, if she, uh, if she was right, and that’s why you were upset."

Lucas thinks she might be the greatest person he knows. He clears his throat, leaning a bit more and more as time passes on Eliott at his side. Safe. This is safe. They are his friends. He can do this.

"Yeah, she was, I mean, there were other stuff that happened on Friday that made me lose it, but I guess yeah, I’m gay, I don’t know, I haven’t really... I haven’t really taken the time to think about putting a label on it, you know."

For a second, silence welcomes his words. Then, the room seems to explode with the sudden noises of their combined voices: Basile completely losing it, Arthur repeating “I KNEW something was going on” over and over, Daphnée squealing her congratulations, he also catches Manon telling him she’s proud of him.

Lucas wants to smile and breathe in relief but, Yann hasn’t made a noise yet and is still looking at him and Eliott.

"Yann? You’re, uh, you’re okay with this right?"

Lucas’s voice is but a whisper. The room quiets down, everyone turning to Yann. His arms are folded on his chest, his voice cold: "Why didn’t you tell me?"

Lucas’s blood runs cold. Why? How does he explain? How does he explain that he himself didn’t know? That he was scared?

"I mean, I’m your best friend. And I asked you. I told you you could talk to me and you said nothing was going on. What, didn't you trust me?"

Lucas’s eyes are fixed on the floor. He can’t look at him. He’s overcome by shame, his cheeks burning and his eyes filling with tears once more. He’s cried more in the past three days than he has in his whole life.

"I mean, it’s not… it’s not that easy, and you guys are always talking about girls and-"

"You lied to my face."

Lucas feels Eliott stand straighter, putting a hand on his shoulder before speaking:

"Hey now, I don’t think that’s fair-"

"I’m not talking to you, so kindly back off."

Yann sounds so mad. Fuck, why is he so mad. Lucas can’t think, he can’t breathe again, the room is too small.

"Yann, that’s _enough_."

Imane.

"Lucas doesn’t have to justify himself to you, to us, or to anyone. He just went through something quite traumatic. You heard people talking about him in the hallways. He doesn’t need you, his best friend - your words, not mine -, to do this to him on top of everything. So take a chill pill."

Lucas doesn’t dare look up, Imane’s words echoing in the room, clearing the air a bit. Alexia is quick to add: "And also, coming out can be pretty terrifying, for some people even more with friends and family, because there are expectations and feelings involved. It’s sometimes an irrational fear and finding the courage to come out like Lucas just did to us is really fucking brave. He should be the priority here and not your feelings of entitlement. Honestly, Lucas, kudos to you."

Lucas really, really loves those girls. The room is completely silent for a few seconds. He finally lifts his head to look at Yann, just in time to see him stride over him, a determined look on his face. In a moment of panic, he grabs Eliott’s arm, who’s already putting himself in front of him again. But Yann just pushes Eliott to the side and takes him in his arms. For a second, Lucas doesn’t get what’s happening. Yann is… hugging him? Yeah, he is. His arms are around his shoulder and he’s clapping his back, muttering under his breath, voice tight with emotion: "Fuck, I’m sorry, bro, I’m sorry, I’m really proud of you and I’m such an idiot."

Lucas hesitantly hugs him back, before clinging to him with everything he has, smiling over his shoulder at Eliott who’s looking at them closely. Yann lets him go and seems to quickly wipe at his eyes with his sleeve.

"Alright, so, how does _he_ fit in all this then? And you still haven’t explained where you were yesterday."

Ah yes, Manon still wants answers. The bell chooses this moment to ring, reminding them they have to get to class.

"Look guys, thanks for everything. I’ll explain more later but… This is… This is Eliott."

Lucas feels lighter than he has in maybe years but he still doesn’t know how to label what he and Eliott has. Are they together for good this time? He needs to talk to Lucille. Again. And he said there were things they needed to talk about, things Lucas didn’t know. So he turns to him, hesitant.

Eliott reclaims his place next to him after having taken a step back when he realized Lucas wasn’t going to get punched in the face by Yann. He brings an arm around his neck, hand going to his hair and bringing him closer to kiss his head. Lucas is pretty sure his heart is going to explode. This is happening. He gets to do this. He thinks he hears Daphnée and Manon awe at them.

"I guess I’m his boyfriend."

Lucas looks up at him to find him already looking down, eyes happy and crinkly. Damn, he’s beautiful. Lucas feels the air being punched out of his lungs.

"Yeah", he says. "He is."

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic soooo thoughts? please tell me in the comments <3  
> Find me on tumblr @srodvlv and come scream with me


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